A Look at Romans - Chapter 2

In some ways it is difficult to do this chapter by chapter. The beginning of chapter 2 continues on where 1 leaves off. Paul is admonishing our behavior when it comes to sinning and judging others. Whenever we judge others (and yes, we ALL do it) we are not showing ourselves to be 'above' them or better than them. We are just trying to draw attention away from our own sinfulness. If I focus on the negative in someone else, then I don't have time to focus on me. In fact, we are setting ourselves up for God's judgment. Not just for the sins we commit, but also for our judging of others. He can keep up with EVERYONE all the time - we can't distract Him from focusing on us.

The way God treats us (with kindness, tolerance, and patience) is intended to draw us closer to Him and further away from our sinful ways. Why do we not just run straight to His goodness?

Each time Paul went to a new city, he first began teaching in the synagogue to the Jews; who, many times, did not listen or began to rise up against his teachings. From there, he went to the Gentiles (non-Jews) that listened and received what the Lord spoke to them. The Jews, being God's chosen people, were given "dibs" on the Messiah, but when they rejected Him, the Gentiles were then allowed to be taught and believed. The Jews followed the laws of Moses, the Gentiles were not under that law. Yet, many Gentile believers knew and followed the law even though they were not required to, because the knowledge was placed in them when they believed. They WANTED to follow God's law. Many of the Jews "knew" the law and chose to disobey it, yet wanting the reward for being born a Jew.

God is looking for those that follow Him and have a changed heart, not ones that follow the law because it is the "right" thing to do. Doing the right thing with the wrong motives is no better than doing the wrong thing. God looks at our hearts and motives, not the actions. His desire is for us to seek praise from Him and not praise from people for what we do.

A Look at Romans - chapter 1

First of all, I am not a Biblical scholar. I vaguely remember taking a few religion classes in college, but the only one I really remember is the one I cheated my way through - Psalms...and I know I didn't get an A!

Over the past several weeks, I read through the book of Acts. There are a lot of good stories in there - lots of persecution and lots of reasons to rejoice. I'm so thankful for Paul - what a wonderful missionary he was in reaching out to the Gentiles.

Since I finished with Acts, I am now moving on with Romans. My friend, Laurie, is a huge help in keeping me accountable with staying on track to get through all of this reading - we'll see how I do when I try to write about what I'm learning though!

Verse 6 is amazing. In the Message version it reads: "You are who you are through this gift [salvation] and call of Jesus Christ!" How true - I am who I am because Jesus died for me, but even more, He was raised from the dead to show His awesome power and might. He has called me to be His daughter and I can wear His name to show I am His.

I don't know a lot about the people of Rome that Paul is writing to - but it is obvious that they were people that Paul liked to hang out with. As he was out and about, he was missing these people. He was moved on and they stayed behind. Life doesn't stop just because we get moved on. So, the Romans were growing in Christ and faith - but all Paul gets are second or third hand stories about what's going on. He wants to be there in the midst of it - to feel the excitement over what's happening there and to continue to plant the seed of Truth to others in Rome. Every time he tries to head back to Rome, God sends him elsewhere and he becomes involved in a new place preaching and teaching to them so that they can know God.

Can you imagine being Paul? You are seeing thousands upon thousands of people being saved, reaching out to others, and sharing all they have with others - how wonderful he had to feel seeing the POSITIVE difference he was having on the Kingdom. Yet, he just wanted to go home to his "comfort zone" and see what differences were happening in the lives of his friends.

In the second half of the chapter, Paul just lays it all out there. There's no escaping the Truth that is there. Basically, mankind knows who God is and what He stands for - we've known since the beginning of time. We just choose to think we don't have to love or serve Him. And since we "know" the Truth, we don't have any excuse for not following Him. So, in following and worshipping other things in life, we reject Christ. He lets us have our way - in all forms of sin - and we will pay the consequences. In verse 32, Paul talks about those that follow in the sinful way deserving death. In the Message version it says: "And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care - worse, they hand out prizes to those that do the worst things best." How very true this is in our culture today. What am I doing to reach out to those that are spitting in God's face? My flesh wants me to think "well, they know what they're doing is wrong, it's up to them to change if they want to"...but that is not what God expects of me.

They Don't Teach You This In School

Yes, I work at a school. No, my college years (all 9 of them) did not at all prepare me for what I would have to do on a daily basis. So, what exactly did I spend tens of thousands of dollars and nearly a decade of my life learning?

It is true that life lessons happen even if we don't look for them. Sometimes it takes us looking back on life to even see the lesson.

So, as I am sitting here thinking today, I came up with a list of things that I was never told/taught in school. It may have been presented on the days I skipped class though - I may be partially responsible for not learning it!

1. That I would spend so much time in meetings.

2. That my job really is paperwork with kids attached; not, kids with paperwork attached.

3. That a majority of my day is spent with adults (parents, other teachers, etc.)

4. That the events of my day would really make for a great book - but no

one would buy it because no one would believe it.

5. That I could be mentally exhausted enough at the end of the day that a nap is required.

6. That I would become jaded within 3-5 years of beginning my career.

7. That I could still love my job even though individual events cause upheaval.

8. That my compassion for kids would be exponentially increased.

9. That my evenings and weekends would consist of a laptop and a couch.

10. That I would really look forward to TRUE 3-day weekends and think, "it's a vacation"!

And yes, this coming 3 day weekend is going to be a vacation. I will not do work, I will not do work, I will not do work!

Life Lessons - They're Everywhere!

As I sit here looking out my window, I see gorgeous trees beginning to change their colors. Slowly, each day, they become more vibrant and beautiful. Unfortunately, there are not many days when I have the ability to actually sit at my desk and look out the window! So I will enjoy it for today.

I currently have an 8 year old boy asleep on the floor of my office because life is overwhelming him right now and he just can't handle school today. As I sit here trying to work as quietly as possible so as not to disturb him, I am also being overwhelmed with thoughts of spiritual things. This same student violently lashed out at me on Monday leaving physical marks on my body. I know that his parents are having difficulties with him at home, school is becoming more and more difficult for him, and he just doesn't understand why he's in the situation he is in (he was adopted at the age of 2). So, he lashed out. Understandable, yes. Socially appropriate, no. Did I get hurt? To some extent physically, yes, but nothing major. Emotionally, I was frustrated and angry that he would do this to ME...but, I would rather he do it to me than to someone else. Yet, 48 hours later, he is here with me again, but in a completely different manner - vulnerable, tired, and 'childlike'. He just wants to feel love and acceptance - at the deepest level. Today, I offer him a haven of safety and peace. I hold no ill will against him for how he treated me in the past. I sit here and watch over him, and protect him as much as I can.

Now comes the spiritual correlation.

Life comes at us and never stops. Difficulties arise for everyone regardless of age, socioeconomic status, gender, marital status, culture, or country in which we live. It is easy to get overwhelmed with it all and lash out. Do I lash out at God when I don’t understand, am angry or frustrated? Yes. Is it understandable? Sure. Is it appropriate? Maybe or maybe not. Does it hurt Him? Yes. But, He is still there with arms open waiting to offer me a safe haven to run to. God forgets my past and loves and accepts me for who I am regardless of how I’ve treated Him. I just have to get over myself and come to Him vulnerable and childlike. I know that I am not worthy of His love and acceptance of me, which is why it is hard to accept it. But I do know that He wants to watch over and protect me.

So, why do I fight it?

The Randomness That is My Life

Well, it's been a month back to work and it has been busy. I really think that my boss and colleagues have been lying to me for the past few years - every year they tell me that it's "never" been like this, it'll be slower or better next year, things will be more 'normal'...so far, insanity has proven to be the normal.

I enjoyed my summer and was blessed with some down time as well as with some fun trips (Minnesota, Virginia, and several treks to McPherson). I was glad to get back to work, but I am VERY much looking forward to a 3-day weekend! That's sad considering that one of my districts (my biggest one) doesn't even start back until the 8th. I am determined to relish the quiet...and may even finish painting my bedroom!

Lately I have really been pondering what to do/be in my life. I have always had a heart for children - have always enjoyed travel and foreign lands. In the past several years, I have had such a softened heart towards foreign adoption (China and Africa) and the countless lives that are alone in this world. I want so very much to be a mother, but really don't know if I could even handle that. I can't imagine trying to do that on my own - I am so selfish with my time and energy...it's a good thing my dog likes to be in his kennel, otherwise I may have to keep him entertained! I am hoping that God has a family in store for my future. Chances are that He may not - can I be joyful in that? Or will I just trust Him to know what is best and that His timing in all things is perfect. I don't want to pray for patience though, because He just may indulge me in that waiting game! :)

Guess I'll just wait for the time being...it's a good thing that adoption is a long process because there are days when I could just take them all in!

Not Mine

How is it that someone with few emotional attachments has gotten to the point of loving and being so involved in others' lives that their joys are also my joys and their pains are also my pains? I still wouldn't say that I am "emotional", but at the same time, I would say that God has definitely been softening my heart and opening my eyes to the people around me and their situations.

The thing that scares me about all of this is that none of these people are "mine". I'm not responsible for making sure they get fed or bathed or clothed and out the door for their day. If I'm getting this wrapped up in people I'm not responsible for, what in the world am I going to be like if I ever am blessed with a husband and children? What a blubbering idiot I'm bound to be. Yikes.

The Time Is Here

Well, it is June. When did that happen and what happened to the last quarter of the school year? I can't believe that today is my last day of work before my 7-week summer break. Wow.

It is June and that means that I get to dog-sit for the next 2-3 weeks while my friends are in Minnesota at Mayo Clinic for their 14-year-old daughter's open heart surgery. It's been a 14 year journey for them, but this past year has really been a difficult time and an emotional roller coaster for them. I know that they are ready for this to be done with so that they will hopefully be able to get back to their new normal - whatever that may be. I know that they are afraid of the unknowns and that it is tough to give up whatever control they may have in this situation.

What has been wonderful to see is the community support and outpouring of love and help from their work places, church, and town. God has definitely shown His face in the midst of all of this. Yet, it is still difficult at times to truly trust Him for who He is and what He can do.

If all works out, I'll be heading up to visit with them next weekend with some other work peeps. I don't want to be in the way, but want to be able to give them a respite in the midst of the long hospital stay if possible. Guess that will be my vacation from dog-sitting too! It'll all work out I'm sure!

Please pray for Katelyn's surgery and recovery over the next few weeks.

Blessings to you all,
Candice